On Fasting, Oppression, and Circles

1. Ramadan

30 days. Sunrise to sunset. No food. No water. I find it incredible that millions of people submit themselves to this ritual every year. I find it even more incredible that my friends and family here in Senegal fast in the stifling heat while still working tirelessly in the fields. Why?, I wonder. So I ask.

I ask my host family, why do you fast? What does Ramadan mean to you?

It is a cleansing. It is a spiritual and physical purification. It is a transformation in our hearts. It is a time of serious reflection. What have we done to make ourselves impure? Surely, many things. Have we mistreated our children? Been unkind to our neighbors? Overlooked those less fortunate in a time of need? We reflect. And we abstain. Not just from food and drink. We abstain from using profanity. From negative or spiteful thoughts or words. We abstain from sex. We abstain from indulgence.
When we break our fast after sundown the whole community bonds in the completion of this ritual and gives thanks to Allah for all of our blessings.

I find this explanation beautiful and relevant. I tell my family I will attempt to fast with them, but I am not sure how long I will last because I have never done something like this before. They say not to worry, just do my best and that is all that matters.

2. Comfort

I have had it my entire life.

Physical and Emotional.

But I only just began ruminating on the significance. 

soft pillows

education

air conditioning

unconditional support

nourished potential

burritos.

Here in its absence, its past glory in unobscured. Here in the comfort void.

It often feels impossible.

On the brink of a precipice.

Inexorable heat a filth.

Suffocating oppression of women.

I want to scream.

I want to make everything right.

It is not that easy.

But I am here. I am a part of this. And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

It is drastic, It is awful, It is remarkable.

In a year and a half I will return to the world of comfort. I will drink it up. But I will not forget what it is like to be without.

3. Circles

You are raised in a small town. Everyone looks the same. They have the same color eyes. They have the same color hair. They have the same color skin. Everyone is the same religion. This is not a choice, but a fact. As every person you have ever known has told you.

You are male. It is written that men are more capable than women, and that women must always be subservient to men. Both your mother and father reinforce this fact through their actions and words. You observe your father ordering your mother and his other wives around like slaves. Women are MEANT for cooking and cleaning and serving. This is a fact. Every other family you know functions like this. You did not chose to be born into this life. You literally know nothing else.

A stranger visits your town. She has different skin and different eyes and different hair. You call her mean names and point and laugh at her. Along with everyone else in your town. No one tells you this is wrong.

You do not have a television and you have never seen the internet. You have never even been exposed to the idea that this is not the way it has to be.

As a child your mother and father beat you when you acted out. Now as a father, you do the same to your children. You treat your wives as a second class and teach your daughters that their place is in the kitchen.

How can you be blamed?