My eyes saturate with tears. Empathy is an odd thing. I do not understand why sometimes it overwhelms me to my core, and other times it passes right by me, leaving me feeling nothing.
Her story does not come close to some of the horrifying injustices I have witnessed or hear of, but for some reason, it strikes me deep down.
I ask Mariyama her age, she says she does not know. Most people in my village don't. We reason out that she had her first child when she was 15 years old, and he is now 8. Her other children are 5, 2, and 1. That makes her 23 years old. The same age as me.
What if I was born here, in this village? A different life flashes before my eyes. Marriage to a much older man in my early teens. The terror as I anticipate sleeping with this man for the first time. It isn't rape, is it? He is my husband. I do not fight it. But I do not like it. The strain on my body, bearing children as soon as I am biologically ready. Being forced to drop out of school, if I have not already. Never learning to read or write. Maybe I am the third wife. My husband rotates between which wife he beds each night. But he pays special attention to me, because I am the newest. Now I have four children. I am 23 years old. I am hardened.
This fleeting memory of another life hits me like a brick the moment I deduce that Mariyama and I are the same age. My eyes saturate with tears.
* I do not mean to villanize Senegalese men, or claim that all Senegalese couples do not marry for love. My host parents certainly love each other, but I do not know if that happened before their marriage, or grew over the years. Every marriage I have seen in the past year has been the archetype of the young teen marrying the much older man she barely knows. Recently, this was the case with my beautiful 14 year old cousin Diuma. I'm not sure if I feel guilt for inaction, or just general sadness, but every time I think about it, it makes me queasy.
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| My host cousin Diuma |
A stranger from another village asks to marry Diuma. Her and her family accept, but a couple days later, she changes her mind. She is scared and she doesn't want to leave her family and her village. And she is 14 years old. She barely even knows this man. This shames her family. She is a good daughter, and does not want to shame her family. So she marries him.
I tell my host mother that this is wrong, and makes me feel deeply sad. She says there is nothing I can do.
Should I have done more? Could I have? I almost feel like I have betrayed a friend. I have not seen her since.
Sometimes, I feel utterly helpless. Writing down and sharing my feelings helps me sort through my thoughts.
On a lighter note... Mangrove Reforestation
Mangroves are unique species that thrive where fresh water meets salt water in the Sine Saloum Delta in Senegal. They provide essential habitat to many wildlife species, combat erosion, and bolster soil fertility. Mangrove reforestation efforts have also been suggested to fight climate change.
We travel by shaky boat across deep blue water to the island.
We push in unison to remove the incredibly heavy beached boat with our 120,000 mangrove propogules from the sand.
We lazily float in the cool salty delta as the crimson sun begins to set.
We wake at the crack of dawn, working together in a massive assembly line to unload the propogules, then carry them what seems like miles on our heads to the reforestation site.
We wade barefoot through the muddy ankle deep marshes, destroying our feet on the upturned shells.
The sun glistens off the sandy marshes creating a metallic sea as we finish planting seemingly endless propogules with help from over 100 Peace Corps Volunteers, staff, and local villagers.
It is beautiful and satisfying.
Playing With Lions: less frightening than it probably should have been.
Wow. Powerful. Beautifully written, Lauren.
ReplyDeleteWhat a growth process you are undergoing, Lo. Please keep blogging! We can never experience exactly what you are going through, but it does add much to our thoughts and feelings because we all love you so much
ReplyDeleteGood morning how are you?
ReplyDeleteMy name is Emilio, I am a Spanish boy and I live in a town near to Madrid. I am a very interested person in knowing things so different as the culture, the way of life of the inhabitants of our planet, the fauna, the flora, and the landscapes of all the countries of the world etc. in summary, I am a person that enjoys traveling, learning and respecting people's diversity from all over the world.
I would love to travel and meet in person all the aspects above mentioned, but unfortunately as this is very expensive and my purchasing power is quite small, so I devised a way to travel with the imagination in every corner of our planet. A few years ago I started a collection of used stamps because trough them, you can see pictures about fauna, flora, monuments, landscapes etc. from all the countries. As every day is more and more difficult to get stamps, some years ago I started a new collection in order to get traditional letters addressed to me in which my goal was to get at least 1 letter from each country in the world. This modest goal is feasible to reach in the most part of countries, but unfortunately it’s impossible to achieve in other various territories for several reasons, either because they are countries at war, either because they are countries with extreme poverty or because for whatever reason the postal system is not functioning properly.
For all this I would ask you one small favor:
Would you be so kind as to send me a letter by traditional mail from Senegal? I understand perfectly that you think that your blog is not the appropriate place to ask this, and even, is very probably that you ignore my letter, but I would call your attention to the difficulty involved in getting a letter from that country, and also I don’t know anyone neither where to write in Senegal in order to increase my collection. a letter for me is like a little souvenir, like if I have had visited that territory with my imagination and at same time, the arrival of the letters from a country is a sign of peace and normality and an original way to promote a country in the world. My postal address is the following one:
Emilio Fernandez Esteban
Calle Valencia, 39
28903 Getafe (Madrid)
Spain
If you wish, you can visit my blog www.cartasenmibuzon.blogspot.com where you can see the pictures of all the letters that I have received from whole World.
Finally I would like to thank the attention given to this letter, and whether you can help me or not, I send my best wishes for peace, health and happiness for you, your family and all your dear beings.
Yours Sincerely
Emilio Fernandez